Went to satsang with my teacher again today.
Just sat in the space
It seems I have finally let go of the tiller
Handed over the wheel
Let the universe take control
Got to say
It feels amazing
Sunday 27 February 2011
Saturday 26 February 2011
Deepening on 17th of june
The state seems to be deepening. Not much else happening although- the experience is basically the same as the one that occurred in 2008. The state has stabilised with the exception of a few hours of non awakeness when a lot of stuff was travelling through at the beginning of the week.
My wife describes me as 'chilled out' which I think is a pretty good description of my experience now.
6 billion fish trying to find water and unable to... funny hey . What's even funnier is when one of them does find water the other fish put him up on a pedestal and go 'wow this guy is amazing and holy and the most beautiful being in the universe because he found water'
Now the amazing thing about maya and illusion(if I may be so bold as to streach a bit more out this analogy)is that while we are all fish swimming in an ocean we all think we are dessert lizards whose entire diet consists of seeds and ants and we never see any water because it is so rare out here that our bodies have adjusted to extract all we need from the food we eat. When it rain we don't know what it is. I think that’s funny, sad and the tragedy of the human condition.
Wake up dammit.!!!!
My wife describes me as 'chilled out' which I think is a pretty good description of my experience now.
6 billion fish trying to find water and unable to... funny hey . What's even funnier is when one of them does find water the other fish put him up on a pedestal and go 'wow this guy is amazing and holy and the most beautiful being in the universe because he found water'
Now the amazing thing about maya and illusion(if I may be so bold as to streach a bit more out this analogy)is that while we are all fish swimming in an ocean we all think we are dessert lizards whose entire diet consists of seeds and ants and we never see any water because it is so rare out here that our bodies have adjusted to extract all we need from the food we eat. When it rain we don't know what it is. I think that’s funny, sad and the tragedy of the human condition.
Wake up dammit.!!!!
Friday 25 February 2011
Functionality and awakening 25th june
Functionality and awakening 25th june
Just another heads up. It appears that during this process that along the way there may be some loss (or total loss) of functionality with your normal day to day things. Work, sleeping, doing anything....
My own experience in the process appeared at various stages through the process and varied in degree from not being able to complete a piece of work to being completely unable to move myself from the couch. I have heard of other instances where people lost all motor control and similar things.
It seemed to pass fairly fast (3weeks in the most recent form) and what remains seems to be a higher level or hyper functionality although I am still trying to figure out how that works. It seems to be a deeper version of hands off the tiller and letting go on a deeper level.
Emotional shadows and reactions 25th june
It seems that the experience of ‘negative’ emotions seems to be reduced so they seem like shadows of their former selves.
Interestingly enough the programmed reaction seems to be the same/ and or stronger or less inhibited.
Worth paying attention to. As I watch it – it seems to be dissipating/unravelling the reactions.
Thursday 24 February 2011
Awakening and Partners
A while back I said something to my wife like ' you know what - I think I'm awake'
Her response was something like' That's nice dear'
I burst out laughing because this was the perfect response.
My wife knew better than anyone what I had gone through and the path I had taken to get here.
I had started my dark night of the soul around the time we first started seeing each other.
She had seen everything.....
Awakening is both the most profound experience possible and also the most basic
6 billion fish unable to find water
Her response was something like' That's nice dear'
I burst out laughing because this was the perfect response.
My wife knew better than anyone what I had gone through and the path I had taken to get here.
I had started my dark night of the soul around the time we first started seeing each other.
She had seen everything.....
Awakening is both the most profound experience possible and also the most basic
6 billion fish unable to find water
Tuesday 22 February 2011
After the agony...
Reading back over my material it seems that there is a lot of emphasis on how dificult this process is.
Well I don't want to try and understate that point because it is difficult however the end point seems to be worth it.
So having reached this point how can I describe the experience.
Firstly we have to accept that I am using language to convey the description and by it's nature langage is limited in it's ability to convey experiece as it is based in symbols. Direct perction is better... however as we are stuck with this medium we can also agree that while terms like 'I' are no longer accurate or even appropriate they are functional for the vast majority of the human race as opposed to statements like 'the experience of emptiness moving/acting through this experience of form' ...I is simpler.
There is an experience of a lot of joy,happiness and bliss.
I think bliss needs something of an explanation here as it's not a hugely coommon experience.
It's like being happy - only really really happy.
It's like being in love.
It's like being euphoric and elated and calm at the same time.
So that's bliss
Which is only an aspect of this place. It comes sometimes and it goes.
The beauty is it doesn't matter if it's there or not.
So how about the rest of it.
Awareness seems to be looking at itself all the time now. The intensity of it varies however.
The buddha field I spoke about seems to be there most of the time and it deepens when I hang out with people in a similar space or awake as well. It's like the one plus one equals 5 principal.
I'm fortunate as I have a few friends I hang out with who are either awake or moving in and out of it like I was for the last months/year or so.
Terms like space, emptiness and peace seem to be decriptors of the internal landscape.
This seems to be one of the benifits of having a teacher.
You get the option of sitting with someone who is already in this state.
This seems to make it easier to experience the awakened state...and become familiar with it.
Well I don't want to try and understate that point because it is difficult however the end point seems to be worth it.
So having reached this point how can I describe the experience.
Firstly we have to accept that I am using language to convey the description and by it's nature langage is limited in it's ability to convey experiece as it is based in symbols. Direct perction is better... however as we are stuck with this medium we can also agree that while terms like 'I' are no longer accurate or even appropriate they are functional for the vast majority of the human race as opposed to statements like 'the experience of emptiness moving/acting through this experience of form' ...I is simpler.
There is an experience of a lot of joy,happiness and bliss.
I think bliss needs something of an explanation here as it's not a hugely coommon experience.
It's like being happy - only really really happy.
It's like being in love.
It's like being euphoric and elated and calm at the same time.
So that's bliss
Which is only an aspect of this place. It comes sometimes and it goes.
The beauty is it doesn't matter if it's there or not.
So how about the rest of it.
Awareness seems to be looking at itself all the time now. The intensity of it varies however.
The buddha field I spoke about seems to be there most of the time and it deepens when I hang out with people in a similar space or awake as well. It's like the one plus one equals 5 principal.
I'm fortunate as I have a few friends I hang out with who are either awake or moving in and out of it like I was for the last months/year or so.
Terms like space, emptiness and peace seem to be decriptors of the internal landscape.
This seems to be one of the benifits of having a teacher.
You get the option of sitting with someone who is already in this state.
This seems to make it easier to experience the awakened state...and become familiar with it.
Sunday 20 February 2011
Rocket Science
It seems a number of people around me are waking up.
It may be like the tiny green car effect.... where a friend of yours buys a small green car then suddenly you see small green cars everywhere...
It kind of helps that I am hanging out with people who are interested in this stuff and are moving in the same direction.... but not all of it.
If you include myself I am currently hanging out with a half a dozen people who are either awake or spending most of their time there.
Given how rare this state seems to be this seems to be a suprisingly large number.
So what gives....
Firstly ... my teacher seems to be able to convey very effectively how to follow this process... and it seems to work.
Secondly .. and hence the name of the article .. it's not rocket science.
There are no delaval nozzels, specific impulses, combustion chambers or transfere orbits.
Although on second thoughts maybe there are ....
It is however stuff that just about everyone can understand... or even if they can't they can do the actions.
As someone I knew once said - understanding is the booby prize.
And it seems that many roads lead to Rome.
A hell of a lot of them don't however.....
If you read this article and get anything out of it.... let it be this.
Awakening is within your reach....
It may be like the tiny green car effect.... where a friend of yours buys a small green car then suddenly you see small green cars everywhere...
It kind of helps that I am hanging out with people who are interested in this stuff and are moving in the same direction.... but not all of it.
If you include myself I am currently hanging out with a half a dozen people who are either awake or spending most of their time there.
Given how rare this state seems to be this seems to be a suprisingly large number.
So what gives....
Firstly ... my teacher seems to be able to convey very effectively how to follow this process... and it seems to work.
Secondly .. and hence the name of the article .. it's not rocket science.
There are no delaval nozzels, specific impulses, combustion chambers or transfere orbits.
Although on second thoughts maybe there are ....
It is however stuff that just about everyone can understand... or even if they can't they can do the actions.
As someone I knew once said - understanding is the booby prize.
And it seems that many roads lead to Rome.
A hell of a lot of them don't however.....
If you read this article and get anything out of it.... let it be this.
Awakening is within your reach....
Saturday 19 February 2011
This is Awesome...
Ok .. I'll probably be saying this more and more as time goes on .......But just for the record....
This is Awesome...
This is Awesome...
Friday 18 February 2011
Chop wood carry water
There is a Zen saying, "Before Enlightenment chop wood carry water, after Enlightenment, chop wood carry water."
It does seem to be the case.
There does seem to be more drive to share what is here however.
This blog is an extension of that....
Other actions may result as well although the form this will take is not clear at this stage.
It does seem to be the case.
There does seem to be more drive to share what is here however.
This blog is an extension of that....
Other actions may result as well although the form this will take is not clear at this stage.
Somewhat non dual reality - 30th july
The last week has been interesting.
A lot of stuff has been moving through.
Doesn't feel like a lot compared to say 6 months ago however and I have had the experience of dropping out of the awake state and back into the dream.
The mind/ego can be very sneeeky when it wants to be ( which seems to be all the time)
I have become attached to being awake...So in order to stay awake I have to let go of the attachment to it
This dropping in and out can be common in the early stages apparently and even teachers who have been sitting in unbroken awakening for years can still drop into the dream.
A lot of stuff has been moving through.
Doesn't feel like a lot compared to say 6 months ago however and I have had the experience of dropping out of the awake state and back into the dream.
The mind/ego can be very sneeeky when it wants to be ( which seems to be all the time)
I have become attached to being awake...So in order to stay awake I have to let go of the attachment to it
This dropping in and out can be common in the early stages apparently and even teachers who have been sitting in unbroken awakening for years can still drop into the dream.
Thursday 17 February 2011
New year new beginnings
Hello to everyone from Australia, USA, UK, Malaysia, Netherlands,Germany,Sweden, Denmark Spain and Canada.
I hope the blog has been useful for you and provided some insight to get you off the path.
It's been around 6 months since my last post and I've had little inclination in that time to post. I've spent much of that time awake and significant periods deeply unconsious. Clarity is pretty high right now though. Who knows - maybe it will last until I die or maybe thiss too will pass. I read a while back about an indian sage who after 40 years of unbroken awakening dropped back into the dream when one of his followers mistreated a girl. He phisically dragged the guy from the ashram by his ears yelling and screaming at him and kicked him out.
Later when his students asked him what had happened he said...'For a few miniutes there I forgot I was a saint'
My experience is the awakened state can be unbroken or you can drop back into the dream at the drop of a hat and this has happened to all the teacheres I have met. They just get back on the horse quicker than most.
Who can say what is next.
I hope the blog has been useful for you and provided some insight to get you off the path.
It's been around 6 months since my last post and I've had little inclination in that time to post. I've spent much of that time awake and significant periods deeply unconsious. Clarity is pretty high right now though. Who knows - maybe it will last until I die or maybe thiss too will pass. I read a while back about an indian sage who after 40 years of unbroken awakening dropped back into the dream when one of his followers mistreated a girl. He phisically dragged the guy from the ashram by his ears yelling and screaming at him and kicked him out.
Later when his students asked him what had happened he said...'For a few miniutes there I forgot I was a saint'
My experience is the awakened state can be unbroken or you can drop back into the dream at the drop of a hat and this has happened to all the teacheres I have met. They just get back on the horse quicker than most.
Who can say what is next.
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Wednesday 16 February 2011
How to tell if your awake........
A question has come to me recently through a variety of ways
How do you know if you're awake.
Sounds stupid doesn't it
You achive the state that millions of buddhists and spiritual seekers are striving to achive......
And YOU DONT EVEN NOTICE.....
Can happen... Believe it.. for various reasons.
The first one - is maybe you don't know what waking up is and have no idea what it feels like.
That happened to me the first time round and caused me no end of troubles.
Secondly - Maybe you are not trying to wake up of believe it is so far off that you won't achieve it this lifetime.- this happened to a friend of mine recently
Thirdly- waking up - the initial stages - are fairly subtle. The second time I woke up (20 years after my first time) my first thoughts were "Really!!!! - This is it...was expecting something more" and yet later it became more than I could have possibly imagined.
So what are the symptoms of being awake
1.) Your awareness is turned in on itself all the time. Whenever you are doing something and at every moment during the day you awareness is watching the world and itself at the same time .. the observer is the observed ... to quote Kirshnamurti
2.) You get to take on others negative energy. When you have cleared so much of your own stuff and are burning brightly negative energy and forms will leave others and come to you to get burned in the fires of awareness. It's a bit like water flows down to the lowest point. If your vessel is empty then if you hang out with somone who is feeling heavy, sad, angry, ect ect then some of their pain will shift to you and they will feel better for a while. Some people who are not awake can do this but everyone I know who is awake does it just by being.
3.) You get a buddha field. It's kind of an extension of the above effect but has a palpable presence. People near a person who is awake can feel the buddha field and it can help them drop into awakening as well. One of the benifits of having an awake teacher.
4.) There seems to be a lot of space,emptiness and peace inside you
5.) You may experiece a lot of bliss and joy
6.) You may be happy all the time for no particular reason
7.) People may ask you (in all seriousness) what drugs you are on and where they can get some (This actually happened to me).
If you have all of the above symptoms you may be awake
Goodluck with that
How do you know if you're awake.
Sounds stupid doesn't it
You achive the state that millions of buddhists and spiritual seekers are striving to achive......
And YOU DONT EVEN NOTICE.....
Can happen... Believe it.. for various reasons.
The first one - is maybe you don't know what waking up is and have no idea what it feels like.
That happened to me the first time round and caused me no end of troubles.
Secondly - Maybe you are not trying to wake up of believe it is so far off that you won't achieve it this lifetime.- this happened to a friend of mine recently
Thirdly- waking up - the initial stages - are fairly subtle. The second time I woke up (20 years after my first time) my first thoughts were "Really!!!! - This is it...was expecting something more" and yet later it became more than I could have possibly imagined.
So what are the symptoms of being awake
1.) Your awareness is turned in on itself all the time. Whenever you are doing something and at every moment during the day you awareness is watching the world and itself at the same time .. the observer is the observed ... to quote Kirshnamurti
2.) You get to take on others negative energy. When you have cleared so much of your own stuff and are burning brightly negative energy and forms will leave others and come to you to get burned in the fires of awareness. It's a bit like water flows down to the lowest point. If your vessel is empty then if you hang out with somone who is feeling heavy, sad, angry, ect ect then some of their pain will shift to you and they will feel better for a while. Some people who are not awake can do this but everyone I know who is awake does it just by being.
3.) You get a buddha field. It's kind of an extension of the above effect but has a palpable presence. People near a person who is awake can feel the buddha field and it can help them drop into awakening as well. One of the benifits of having an awake teacher.
4.) There seems to be a lot of space,emptiness and peace inside you
5.) You may experiece a lot of bliss and joy
6.) You may be happy all the time for no particular reason
7.) People may ask you (in all seriousness) what drugs you are on and where they can get some (This actually happened to me).
If you have all of the above symptoms you may be awake
Goodluck with that
Tuesday 15 February 2011
Instant Awakening
I have been reflecting recently on my first awakening experience
It took only two weeks to wake up and lasted for around a year.
in itself this was an amazing accomplishment for Krishnamurti.
So here is my recommendation....
If you want enlightenment and want it fast go out and buy
Krishnamurti's Beyond Violence
Read it
See if you wake up
Good luck if you do.
If you don't then don't worry there is still the slower but surer path. herein .....
It took only two weeks to wake up and lasted for around a year.
in itself this was an amazing accomplishment for Krishnamurti.
So here is my recommendation....
If you want enlightenment and want it fast go out and buy
Krishnamurti's Beyond Violence
Read it
See if you wake up
Good luck if you do.
If you don't then don't worry there is still the slower but surer path. herein .....
Monday 14 February 2011
Nameste
Nameste is a simple word - a greeting spoken by millions the world over every day.
I has a number of translations but the most relevant one here is remarkably simple.
The spirit that is with in me greets and recognizes the spirit that is within you.
In it's translation then it is not just a word by a practice that occurs every time you meet someone.
When you are awake it is impossible not to do this
My soul salutes your soul...
My heart loves your heart
My Awareness sees your awareness and sees the lack of separation between the two.
Two waves looking for water...
Seeing they are part of an ocean...
Nameste
The reality of waking in the marketplace
Sometimes it can be hard....
It's called the hero's journey for a reason.
It's dangerous, there are lots of obstacles
and there is a pot of gold at the end
I'm not sure anyone who hasn't done this can get how hard it can be
Ironically it can also be incredibly easy.(see instant awakening)
In my own personal journey I may have decided to do a bit much at once...
Start a new company....
Start a new family....
Wake up.....
All at the same time....
I think that one would be enough for most people...
On the plus side the family and business are going great....
The waking up....hmm
I feel a bit like a guy who has spent a lot of time being in the land of awake and I've even lived there periodically but now I am camping on the outskirts and walk in and out of the land pretty regularly.
So I can see it all the time... I'm just not experiencing it all the time...
Or am I...
Isaac would say this is also an illusion and that we are always ever there....
The thing is I can remember being able to see that ...
So clearly...
6 billion waves.. Searching for water...
Nameste
It's called the hero's journey for a reason.
It's dangerous, there are lots of obstacles
and there is a pot of gold at the end
I'm not sure anyone who hasn't done this can get how hard it can be
Ironically it can also be incredibly easy.(see instant awakening)
In my own personal journey I may have decided to do a bit much at once...
Start a new company....
Start a new family....
Wake up.....
All at the same time....
I think that one would be enough for most people...
On the plus side the family and business are going great....
The waking up....hmm
I feel a bit like a guy who has spent a lot of time being in the land of awake and I've even lived there periodically but now I am camping on the outskirts and walk in and out of the land pretty regularly.
So I can see it all the time... I'm just not experiencing it all the time...
Or am I...
Isaac would say this is also an illusion and that we are always ever there....
The thing is I can remember being able to see that ...
So clearly...
6 billion waves.. Searching for water...
Nameste
Saturday 5 February 2011
Teaching
Hmm ... seem to be spending a lot of time in the space and chilling out. I am getting a stong urge to teach some of this or share some of it. Sitting with others would be enough and is the primary reason I go to satsang these days. More to give back than to recieve... I also enjoy the naps.
I find the emptiness deepens when i share this with others and would like to do some formal sitting with others one on one or in small groups. Not sure how to manifest this but I have a sneeking suspicion the universe will sort it out.....
Nameste everyone and my heat opens to you all. May you find what you seek
I find the emptiness deepens when i share this with others and would like to do some formal sitting with others one on one or in small groups. Not sure how to manifest this but I have a sneeking suspicion the universe will sort it out.....
Nameste everyone and my heat opens to you all. May you find what you seek
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